-KTV-
For the first month or so of being in China, I continually saw all these neon signs of ‘KTV.’ Since they certainly didn’t seem like bars or clubs from the outside I concluded that ‘KTV’ must be a very prominent local television station. As to why they seemingly had stations on every city corner, I just wrote it off as another ‘crazy China thing’ and didn’t give it anymore thought. That is until Matt informed one Sunday evening after work that we were going out with a group that night to KTV.
( If the people of China were put on trial for insanity, their maniacal obsession with KTV would be the proverbial 'bloody glove.' Really. They are all completely out their minds. ) I think the conversation went something like this:
Me: I mean, okay. Why are we going to a television station on our night off?
Matt: Dude, no. KTV is karaoke-television. You go into private rooms and sing karaoke.
Me: Dude, what’s so fun about singing karaoke alone?
Matt: Trust me man. It’s so much fun. You have to come. It’s a cultural experience.
So after my typical “I’m not sure, just go without me. I’ll be fine here. Really, just go,” I ended up going and naturally, had a fantastic time. Matt and I met up with our American friends Kris and Zach Giglio (Mike’s little brother), and a bunch of their cohorts from the World English School. After playing with several puppies (I mean really, we’re singing private karaoke for one another- what do you expect?), we met the group at the KTV at about 10. The building itself was very new and massive. The place was like a hybrid between a four star hotel and a trendy nightclub. There were neatly dressed attendants seemingly at every corner, eager to assist us. After Matt told an attendant what party we belonged to we were quickly ushered up some stairs and down a maze of hallways to our designated room. The room itself was lavishly decorated, replete with a large flat screen (where the karaoke was displayed) plush leather couches, and a top notch sound system. Already waiting for us were Kris and Zach and their cohorts and their significant others. Also in the room were a few computer screens where one selects the song they would like to sing to on karaoke. For the first 30 minutes or so, people were a little apprehensive to take the microphone (random cultural tidbit- all Chinese people can sing. While they have a terrible sense of rhythm, and can’t catch a ball to save their lives, they all can really belt it out). But after people had played with enough puppies, the willingness to perform was only outpaced by the decline in the quality of the singing (think Grandpa singing Christmas Carols at Midnight Service at Church after having a jug of wine). For the next few hours everything was a blur of ridiculous Chinese songs (which I understood nothing), and the occasional English (usually performed by me) song. I do vaguely recall Matt rapping an Eminem song, and me serenading some random Chinese girl I with All-4-One’s 1994 hit “I Can Love You Like That .” The experience as a whole was a lot of fun. And I highly recommend that you try it if given the opportunity.
Our experience with KTV wasn’t, by Chinese standards anyway, a typical night at there. While KTV certainly caters to the more family crowd during daytime, at nighttime it becomes very adult oriented. In China, and throughout all of Asia, people go to KTV and hire girls there to sing with them. Yes, you read that correctly. Groups of guys go to KTV, and hire pay girls obscene amounts of money to sing private duets with them. For a little extra money, the girl will then go home with you.
Moreover, in many Asian countries, KTV is the go-to destination for business-men to make deals. They will go into a KTV room with girls (oh, did I mention that when selecting a girl to sing with you, you aren’t assigned a random girl. Rather, they literally have a line-up of girls and you pick out the ones you want) talk business, perform with the girls for a while, then sleep with them (sounds better than playing a round of golf).
Another offshoot of the KTV culture is that girls who work at KTV scour the bars on their off nights to try to clandestinely gain clientele. Matt has told me that numerous times he has talked to pretty girls at bars for long periods of time only for them to invite him to their KTV place the following night. (on that note, the sex industry, while technically illegal in China, is rampant throughout all of Asia. Since Asian people lack the puritanical based we have, the sex industry isn’t demonized like it is in America). As a result, much of the nightlife of meeting people at bars has eroded away. Literally every girl at a bar is either with there with her boyfriend, or a girl looking to make a dollar one way or another. This problem has become so prominent parts of Asia that some places are starting to ban KTV. South Korea recently outlawed all KTV on account that it was eroding away its culture. All in all, KTV is a lot of fun, and I encourage all of you, if ever given the opportunity to try it out.
Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. As always, thanks for reading.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The Nightlife and Drinking Culture Part I
In line with everything else about China, the nightlife here is insane. And by 'insane,' I don't mean Bourbon-Street-on-Mardis-Gras kind of insane, rather, I mean these-people-could-be-institutionalized kind of insane. For example, an ideal night out for the typical Chinaman would involve taking numerable shots of grain alcohol at a bar, followed by private karaoke performed with hired girls, then perhaps a late night massage/prostitute. Let me explain:
-The Bar Scene and 'Ganbei'-
As one would imagine, there is a thriving bar scene in China. Unlike the most parts of the world where the bar scene centers around the weekend, in China, any given night is liable to be full of people. Another difference from the United States is that people go to bars to hang out with friends and get really drunk- not so much to meet people. (due to the omnipresence of 'massage parlors' (honestly, there is one in every strip mall..it will be like drug store, furniture store, massage parlor, restuarant), and their relative social acceptance drastically cuts down on guys meeting girls at bars). Typically, bars are about 3/5 guys, and the 2/5 of the females usually are there with their boyfriends (and subsequently become disgusted with them when they drink too much and start dancing around singing obnoxiously (see? we're really not that different after all..)).
My favorite aspect of Chinese bars is the 'ganbei' culture. Chinese people don't sip their drinks at their leisure like normal human beings. Rather, they pore themselves tall glasses of beer, and cheers ('ganbei')one another every time they drink. Unlike America where a token sip will suffice for a cheers request, in China, it is expected that you drink your entire drink. Moreover, what makes things really fun, is that if you ganbei someone, they are culturally obligated to drink. Really, it's the best system ever. It's like everyone is a pledge, hazing each other all night.
So, due to my outgoing nature and obvious language barrier, I find great amusement to go around at bars and ganbei everyone there. for the most part, the chinese people love that they are being cheersed by a foreigner (again, as white people here we are like pseudo-celebrities (on that note, today i was at the chinese equivalent of target, and i saw all this lotion chinese people use to make their skin whiter..so strange ). However, on occasion my brash American ways have inadvertently made me some enemies.
One such case happened a few weeks ago at this club named BaiDu. The boys and I had just come from KTV (more on KTV later in entry), and we were, to put it mildly, pretty buzzed. I immediately began on my regular routine of ganbeing every person in the club. At one particular table of 10 people (half girls half guys), a particular couple wouldnt honor my ganbei request. So, naturally, they were met with a big 'thumbs down' right in their faces as i began loudly booing them (again, language barrier). In hindsight, the fact that i, a foreigner, gave this guy a thumbs down for not ganbeing, made him lose so much what the chinese call, 'face' in front of his girlfriend (essentially, i made him lose a lot of street cred and made him look like a weakling in front of his girl and friends).
So, after i boo him, his face turned a bright red and he vigorously began pouring shot after shot and ganbeing me. I happily accepted the free alcohol, and in my state, was oblivious to the 'tension' between us (might i add i was a lot bigger than he was). A few minutes later after the ganbeing had ended, matt bumps into him accidentally, and in a desperate attempt to gain some face back, he tries to fight us. Luckily for his sake (really, i dont pretend to be a tough guy, but he was just really small) his girlfriend pulled him back and began saying 'sorry' in broken english. As it turned out, their relationship must have really been on the rocks bc as the couple were leaving the club the girlfriend turned around and blew me a kiss...
While there certainly exists a thriving bar scene in china, the hands down most popular nightlife entertainment is the cultural phenomenon known as KTV...
-Look tomorrow for my entry on KTV. As always, thanks for reading.
-The Bar Scene and 'Ganbei'-
As one would imagine, there is a thriving bar scene in China. Unlike the most parts of the world where the bar scene centers around the weekend, in China, any given night is liable to be full of people. Another difference from the United States is that people go to bars to hang out with friends and get really drunk- not so much to meet people. (due to the omnipresence of 'massage parlors' (honestly, there is one in every strip mall..it will be like drug store, furniture store, massage parlor, restuarant), and their relative social acceptance drastically cuts down on guys meeting girls at bars). Typically, bars are about 3/5 guys, and the 2/5 of the females usually are there with their boyfriends (and subsequently become disgusted with them when they drink too much and start dancing around singing obnoxiously (see? we're really not that different after all..)).
My favorite aspect of Chinese bars is the 'ganbei' culture. Chinese people don't sip their drinks at their leisure like normal human beings. Rather, they pore themselves tall glasses of beer, and cheers ('ganbei')one another every time they drink. Unlike America where a token sip will suffice for a cheers request, in China, it is expected that you drink your entire drink. Moreover, what makes things really fun, is that if you ganbei someone, they are culturally obligated to drink. Really, it's the best system ever. It's like everyone is a pledge, hazing each other all night.
So, due to my outgoing nature and obvious language barrier, I find great amusement to go around at bars and ganbei everyone there. for the most part, the chinese people love that they are being cheersed by a foreigner (again, as white people here we are like pseudo-celebrities (on that note, today i was at the chinese equivalent of target, and i saw all this lotion chinese people use to make their skin whiter..so strange ). However, on occasion my brash American ways have inadvertently made me some enemies.
One such case happened a few weeks ago at this club named BaiDu. The boys and I had just come from KTV (more on KTV later in entry), and we were, to put it mildly, pretty buzzed. I immediately began on my regular routine of ganbeing every person in the club. At one particular table of 10 people (half girls half guys), a particular couple wouldnt honor my ganbei request. So, naturally, they were met with a big 'thumbs down' right in their faces as i began loudly booing them (again, language barrier). In hindsight, the fact that i, a foreigner, gave this guy a thumbs down for not ganbeing, made him lose so much what the chinese call, 'face' in front of his girlfriend (essentially, i made him lose a lot of street cred and made him look like a weakling in front of his girl and friends).
So, after i boo him, his face turned a bright red and he vigorously began pouring shot after shot and ganbeing me. I happily accepted the free alcohol, and in my state, was oblivious to the 'tension' between us (might i add i was a lot bigger than he was). A few minutes later after the ganbeing had ended, matt bumps into him accidentally, and in a desperate attempt to gain some face back, he tries to fight us. Luckily for his sake (really, i dont pretend to be a tough guy, but he was just really small) his girlfriend pulled him back and began saying 'sorry' in broken english. As it turned out, their relationship must have really been on the rocks bc as the couple were leaving the club the girlfriend turned around and blew me a kiss...
While there certainly exists a thriving bar scene in china, the hands down most popular nightlife entertainment is the cultural phenomenon known as KTV...
-Look tomorrow for my entry on KTV. As always, thanks for reading.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Apology
Dear Loyal Readers (Mom),
I apologize for my habitual tardiness of my posts. In spite of the general sloppiness of the entries, I actually spend a great deal of time composing them. For whatever reason (perhaps my recent binge of puppy playing?) everytime I've sat down to write this week's entry I've had some serious writer's block. I have a great story to share with you, and to hastily jot down a bullet-point summary of the event would be a disservice to you, the reader (my mom).
Currently, work right now is quite hectic on account of the christmas party we are having for the kids tomorrow evening. After this weekend, and after matt leaves for america on monday, i will have ample time to catch up on my blogging.
so, as an olive branch to you, disgruntled reader (Mom), i swear on Bruce Lee's grave a two-entry super addition next Tuesday, as well as the pictures from China Idol, ok? ok.
As always thanks for reading and feel free to leave comments.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
China Idol
-China Idol-
So for the previous few weeks Matt's friend Michelle or 'Loopy' as everyone calls her, has been trying to convince Matt and myself to attend this 'singing competition show' at the tv station she works at. Since the show tapes on Saturday nights, Matt and I were usually too tired from the 9 hours of playing Simon Says and teaching the letter "T" to attend. But two Saturdays ago, the stars must have been aligned, because for whatever reason we decided on a whim to go at the last minute.
After pounding a couple of beers (* upon request from my mother, I promised not talk about alcohol so much in the blogs. So from here on out I will refer to drinking as "playing with puppies.") After playing with 5 or 6 puppies a piece in the parking lot of the tv station, Loopy informed Matt and myself that we needed to go inside and take our seats. As it turned out we were seated at the very end of the front row of a packed house of 400 avid fans. Seeing our white faces, the producer came over and introduced himself to us. Following our conversation, he promptly made some random Chinese dude switch seats with us so we could sit directly behind the judges (random cultural tidbit* aside from the huge cities like Shanghai and Beijing which are full of foreigners, most of china remains extremely racially homogenous. (here in Jiaxing, a city of 3 million, there are probably no more than a 100 non-Chinese people living here). As a result of limited to no direct contact with foreigners, the typical Chinese person forms their opinion of white people through the movies they see and the tv shows they watch. As a result, it creates for almost like a ‘reverse’ prejudice. People here treat us like we’re celebrities. It’s wonderful. On several occasions when i‘ve had to wait in-line at a checkout counter one of the clerks have opened up a new register just to serve me.) So, after our re-seating I ended up sitting no more than 4 feet from one of the judges. Our close proximity to Paula-ming, Randy-chung, and Simon-shao meant that we were on tv every time they were taping the judges.
The show began promptly at about 7 pm and was executed extremely professionally. As it turned out, Matt and I were at the finals, so there was a lot of ‘drama.’ The show itself was absolutely ridiculous, and what was even more absurd was how serious everyone else in the audience took this ridiculous show. On one occasion, one contestant was kicked off the show, and the girl judge began crying. Naturally, Matt and I thought that it was hysterical. Then we looked behind us, and to our astonishment an entire row of homely looking teenage girls (honestly I’ve seen maybe 10 overweight girls in china, of who at least 6 of them were sitting together in that row) sobbing. It was too much. Matt and I were falling out of our seats laughing. Of course, since the producer had us sitting practically next to the judges, we were shown on tv laughing hysterically during the most somber parts of the show (the producer must have really hated us).
Another highlight of the show was the incorporation of interpretive dancers. Every singing performance was accompanied by an interpretive dancer. These dancers were all girls who, because they watched MTV asia and dressed like they were homeless, fancied themselves to be some kind of hip-hop performers. One dancer, who matt called hoopz for her gold hula-hoop sized earrings, would always incorporate the robot into her interpretive dances. It was so funny. it was off the charts on the unintentional comedy scale.
Another amusing aspect of the show was when the audience would try to clap along to the beat of the performances. I didn’t realize it until I got here, but chinese people have NO sense of rhythm. When one of the producers would want the audience to start clapping, he would stand in the front and try to set the tempo. Not only was the original tempo off the beat of the song, but a lot of the people couldn’t even follow the incorrect tempo set by the producer. This resulted in a general cacophony of out of beat clapping.
The real highlight of the night came early on after the contestants performed their first round of songs. After having paid attention to a tv program of which I understood nothing for nearly an hour, I began feeling a little antsy. So, when a pretty cute chinese girl took the stage, I asked Matt how to say “I love you” in Chinese. After her song was over, I began hollering in my best obnoxious American frat-boy chanting voice “Wooo I nee! Wo I neee.” She blushed, and then in English said ‘thank you.’ It was great. In china, it is customary to receive flowers after performances. So, loopy turned to me and asked me if I wanted to be the guy that ran up and gave her flowers. Having played with so many puppies earlier I was still a little inebriated (though quickly sobering up), I said, “sure,” and before I knew what was going on Loopy was pushing a bouquet of flowers into me telling me to run up on stage. Like a dog being told to go outside of his invisible fence I hesitated for a second. But before I knew it my legs had carried me up on stage under the bright lights. Normally the position of ‘flower-boy’ is reserved for some studio troll whose sole mission is to deliver the flowers as hastily as he can, and be as invisible as possible. I realized this only after watching several flowers boys later on in the show.
Rather than passing off the flowers and scurrying back off stage, I walked up to her and handed her the flowers and kind of stood there for a second expecting something to happen. After a moment of internal debate, I did something that was totally not appropriate in the least- I leaned in and gave her a hug, and then kissed her on the cheek. The whole audience erupted in a “OooooooOoo!” Upon hearing the audience Ooooo, I retreated to my seat, nearly slipping on a puddle of water that was left on stage.
All in all, the contest was a lot of fun. My girlfriend ended up coming in second place (she was robbed!!). Also, unbeknownst to matt and myself, apparently this show is a big deal locally. So a lot of our students at the school told us that they saw us on tv.
Anyway, I need to go eat dinner now. I have a bunch of pictures from the night, including pictures of me up on stage, but i am having trouble posting them. I will be sure to post them sometime in the future. Expect the next entry this time next week. Thanks for reading!
So for the previous few weeks Matt's friend Michelle or 'Loopy' as everyone calls her, has been trying to convince Matt and myself to attend this 'singing competition show' at the tv station she works at. Since the show tapes on Saturday nights, Matt and I were usually too tired from the 9 hours of playing Simon Says and teaching the letter "T" to attend. But two Saturdays ago, the stars must have been aligned, because for whatever reason we decided on a whim to go at the last minute.
After pounding a couple of beers (* upon request from my mother, I promised not talk about alcohol so much in the blogs. So from here on out I will refer to drinking as "playing with puppies.") After playing with 5 or 6 puppies a piece in the parking lot of the tv station, Loopy informed Matt and myself that we needed to go inside and take our seats. As it turned out we were seated at the very end of the front row of a packed house of 400 avid fans. Seeing our white faces, the producer came over and introduced himself to us. Following our conversation, he promptly made some random Chinese dude switch seats with us so we could sit directly behind the judges (random cultural tidbit* aside from the huge cities like Shanghai and Beijing which are full of foreigners, most of china remains extremely racially homogenous. (here in Jiaxing, a city of 3 million, there are probably no more than a 100 non-Chinese people living here). As a result of limited to no direct contact with foreigners, the typical Chinese person forms their opinion of white people through the movies they see and the tv shows they watch. As a result, it creates for almost like a ‘reverse’ prejudice. People here treat us like we’re celebrities. It’s wonderful. On several occasions when i‘ve had to wait in-line at a checkout counter one of the clerks have opened up a new register just to serve me.) So, after our re-seating I ended up sitting no more than 4 feet from one of the judges. Our close proximity to Paula-ming, Randy-chung, and Simon-shao meant that we were on tv every time they were taping the judges.
The show began promptly at about 7 pm and was executed extremely professionally. As it turned out, Matt and I were at the finals, so there was a lot of ‘drama.’ The show itself was absolutely ridiculous, and what was even more absurd was how serious everyone else in the audience took this ridiculous show. On one occasion, one contestant was kicked off the show, and the girl judge began crying. Naturally, Matt and I thought that it was hysterical. Then we looked behind us, and to our astonishment an entire row of homely looking teenage girls (honestly I’ve seen maybe 10 overweight girls in china, of who at least 6 of them were sitting together in that row) sobbing. It was too much. Matt and I were falling out of our seats laughing. Of course, since the producer had us sitting practically next to the judges, we were shown on tv laughing hysterically during the most somber parts of the show (the producer must have really hated us).
Another highlight of the show was the incorporation of interpretive dancers. Every singing performance was accompanied by an interpretive dancer. These dancers were all girls who, because they watched MTV asia and dressed like they were homeless, fancied themselves to be some kind of hip-hop performers. One dancer, who matt called hoopz for her gold hula-hoop sized earrings, would always incorporate the robot into her interpretive dances. It was so funny. it was off the charts on the unintentional comedy scale.
Another amusing aspect of the show was when the audience would try to clap along to the beat of the performances. I didn’t realize it until I got here, but chinese people have NO sense of rhythm. When one of the producers would want the audience to start clapping, he would stand in the front and try to set the tempo. Not only was the original tempo off the beat of the song, but a lot of the people couldn’t even follow the incorrect tempo set by the producer. This resulted in a general cacophony of out of beat clapping.
The real highlight of the night came early on after the contestants performed their first round of songs. After having paid attention to a tv program of which I understood nothing for nearly an hour, I began feeling a little antsy. So, when a pretty cute chinese girl took the stage, I asked Matt how to say “I love you” in Chinese. After her song was over, I began hollering in my best obnoxious American frat-boy chanting voice “Wooo I nee! Wo I neee.” She blushed, and then in English said ‘thank you.’ It was great. In china, it is customary to receive flowers after performances. So, loopy turned to me and asked me if I wanted to be the guy that ran up and gave her flowers. Having played with so many puppies earlier I was still a little inebriated (though quickly sobering up), I said, “sure,” and before I knew what was going on Loopy was pushing a bouquet of flowers into me telling me to run up on stage. Like a dog being told to go outside of his invisible fence I hesitated for a second. But before I knew it my legs had carried me up on stage under the bright lights. Normally the position of ‘flower-boy’ is reserved for some studio troll whose sole mission is to deliver the flowers as hastily as he can, and be as invisible as possible. I realized this only after watching several flowers boys later on in the show.
Rather than passing off the flowers and scurrying back off stage, I walked up to her and handed her the flowers and kind of stood there for a second expecting something to happen. After a moment of internal debate, I did something that was totally not appropriate in the least- I leaned in and gave her a hug, and then kissed her on the cheek. The whole audience erupted in a “OooooooOoo!” Upon hearing the audience Ooooo, I retreated to my seat, nearly slipping on a puddle of water that was left on stage.
All in all, the contest was a lot of fun. My girlfriend ended up coming in second place (she was robbed!!). Also, unbeknownst to matt and myself, apparently this show is a big deal locally. So a lot of our students at the school told us that they saw us on tv.
Anyway, I need to go eat dinner now. I have a bunch of pictures from the night, including pictures of me up on stage, but i am having trouble posting them. I will be sure to post them sometime in the future. Expect the next entry this time next week. Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
First Impressions II
First and foremost, I apologize for my tardiness again in updating my blog. Between working/being exhausted from working, drinking/recovering from drinking, sleeping and eating I have very little free time in which to keep my blog up to date. So anyway, from here on out I will make sure to update my blog every Tuesday (so, it should appear late Monday night to Tuesday morning in the Mother country).
Anyway, to make amends for my inexcusable tardiness, I offer you an extra long entry:
-The Birthday Party-
Thus far in my oriental odyssey I’ve successfully avoided eating anything really gross- no dog, no cat, no shark fins or even an ox testicle. While there have been several instances of gagging and funny faces (a la mom’s meatloaf circa 1993), I’ve been able to stomach everything thus far All this changed last Sunday with a seemingly innocuous invitation to a student’s birthday dinner.
After a long day of work (we work 9 hour days on the weekends), the unofficial golden boy of Kid Castle Educational Institute invited the director of the school as well as Matt and myself to his birthday dinner that evening. ‘Frank’ (all Chinese people take an anglicized name for themselves) has been at the school since its inception, and is very smart but a serious wise-ass. Needless to say, everyone loves him.
So, about 5:30 that evening, on a whim Frank invites us to come have rooster with him and his family. I’ll admit, I was initially a little apprehensive about going to dinner. Since I had never had rooster before, I didn’t want to discover that it made me throw up like the Avian flu in front of the school’s most beloved student and family, my boss, and the owner of the school. But, I strapped on my balls, pulled up my skirt, got over myself and went.
The place Frank selected for his birthday dinner was a ‘hot-pot’ restaurant. Very popular in China, hot-pot restaurants get their name from having boiling pots built into each table. Guests then cook all their own food in the pot and eating is an ongoing process. At this dinner, Matt I and sat with Frank and his friend Jason at one table (thank God), while the adults sat at a table across from us. By the time Matt and arrived, the rooster was already cooking in the pot. (Random cultural tidbit- Chinese people are obsessed with eating fresh food. At the supermarket there are very few frozen foods and a massive section to buy fresh vegetables and meats. That being said, many restaurants here kill animals on site). I knew for a fact that this restaurant happened to be one of those that butchered animals on site, because sitting next to the pot was a bowl of the rooster’s entrails soaking in its own blood. Upon making this observation I immediately began drinking. At this point in time, Frank and Jason began playfully teasing about putting the entrails into the pot with the rest of the rooster. I assumed by their playful nature that they were indeed just teasing. That is, of course, until they dumped the entire bowl of liver, intestines, and a pint of rooster blood into the pot.
With the addition of the blood, the water in the pot turned a deep reddish-brown color. Within a few minutes the water began to boil which signified that the meat was ready to be eaten. I watched as Matt fearlessly dipped the ladle into the murky depths of the pot to pull out strange chunks of rooster meat. When people eat in China say they are having rooster, they don’t mean the breast and legs; they mean the whole thing. This fact became painfully apparent to me when I dipped the ladle deep into the translucent blood bath to pull out a boiled rooster head ( ) along with a rooster talon (with the claw still intact). I felt like I was on fear factor (let me take a moment to formally apologize to my Grandma Shirley for refusing to eat your pot-roast. I now see how immature and ridiculous I was being. I am very sorry). To make matters worse, everyone around me was thoroughly enjoying the meal (I mean the kid picked this place to have his birthday dinner. That implies that the following conversation must have occurred:
Frank’s parents: Frank, you can have any kind of food you want, what would you like to have? Frank: Rooster talons!).
Having noticed my lack of appetite, in-between chewing on a rooster testicle (seriously), Frank asked me how I liked the rooster? “It’s wonderful,” I replied as I gagged down a token piece of some unidentifiable part of the rooster. Thankfully, we added a lot of other foods to the pot and I was able to scrape together a passable meal (and by passable I mean almost believable to those around me) of noodles, peanuts, and lamb. ( I found if I filled my plate with a variety of food, and ate only token portions of each I could create the illusion that I had eaten a full meal without having too much of any one thing to make me want to vomit ).
All in all, the night ended well. Frank’s mother was concerned that neither Matt nor I had had enough to eat or drink (in China it’s considered rude to NOT get your guests really drunk). But we quickly assuaged her fears and we all happily parted ways.
-------
I had originally intended to make this a two part my blog, but as you can see, the first part got a bit long. The next entry is a real humdinger, and to hastily jot something down in 20 minutes wouldn’t do the story justice. That being said, while there is an outside chance I may write it tomorrow, in all likelihood expect it next Tuesday. Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
First Impressions
First off, I apologize to all for the tardiness of this post. These first few weeks here have been such a whirlwind of chopsticks, alcohol, and Chinese schoolchildren (though not together) that I haven't had a good amount of time to sit and catch up on my correspondences until now. In the future I promise to be more punctual with my posts.
-Where I live-
I am living with my college buddy Matt, on the seventh floor of an elevator-less apartment building (needless to say i'm building some sick calves). in china literally NO ONE lives in houses regardless of a person's income (there is a guy who drives a sick bmw 7 series who lives in the same apartment complex as i do). As a result, cities here are incredibly densely populated.
Our apartment complex, by Chinese standards, is top of the line. The complex is gated with 24 hour security guards, and the units are spacious with nice hardwood floors. The major downside, like all chinese apartments, is that there is no central heating. While the climate here is pretty temperate, when you have no heat it is really f------ (censored for my mom) cold. A few times at night it has gotten down to 20 degrees or so and i have woken up shivering. fortunately, a few nights ago, i came home from the bar freezing and began tearing through cupboards and whatnot in search of extra blankets. fortunately for me, the cocaine addict whom I replaced forgot, his really nice sleeping bag. so now, i wrap myself up in a cocoon of the sleeping bag and several layers of blankets.
-The School-
Thus far, one of the highlights has been my job teaching english at the school. while the days can sometimes be long, the kids are typically a lot of fun. the school consists of about 200 students, as operates mid-afternoons/early evenings on the weekdays and on the weekends. The teaching staff consists of four 'bilingual' chinese girls and myself and matt as the 'foreign expert teachers (yes, the word 'expert' is in our job title). every class is divided between instruction from a native chinese speaker and one foreign teacher. so, naturally, since there are only two foreign teachers matt and i have to teach by far the most classes.
On the whole, the children are sweet little Asian angels. however, amongst these angels, there are definitely some little bastards who try to sabotage the class. a few years ago, in an effort to curve population growth, china enacted a 'one-child for every couple law.' one unforeseen consequence of this act was that there is an entire generation of chinese kids who are only-children. so, since these kids are accustomed to being doted on by their parents and spoiled, a fair number of them suffer from "little-emperor syndrome." if left unchecked, some of these little emperors would spend each class running around the room screaming (which, they do for most of the chinese girls classes). so, every class is a constant struggle to keep the few bad seeds at-bay so that the rest of the class can still learn. one effective method i've been using is to make the class sit boy-girl. when i tell the class, naturally, they all refuse to move (i even had one girl start crying when i told her she had to go sit next to a boy). so, after much refusal and insistence on my part i usually resort to physically carrying the kid in his chair across the room (i rule over my classes like mao zedong ruled over china- with the iron fist of authority). then, if he tries to run back, to his old spot i playfully clothesline him and throw him back into his new seat next to the girl. the whole class laughs and everyone is happy.
another problem i've had to deal with in some of older classes are boys and girls flirting. in one class, this particular boy and girl just sit the whole class and flirt by poking each other and giggling. since the two refuse to be separated (honestly, i once divided the class into teams of boys and girls for a game, and the boy said he would just be on the girls team....what 12 year old boy says that?!) i've resorted to try to embarrass them to make them shut up. at the end of a class the other day, which had completely spiraled out of control on account of their raucous flirting, i got all the students in the class to sing "Andy and Carol sitting in a tree...k-i-s-s-i-n-g...." and so forth. another time, when i was going around the room making the kids spell words they had just learned i began making the kids spell things like "andy wants to kiss carol" or "carol loves andy." they were confused at first, but thought it was funny once they understood.
.........
i need to go to dinner now, but tomorrow i will write another installment of first impressions...if you have any questions/comments feel free to post them. Thanks!
-Where I live-
I am living with my college buddy Matt, on the seventh floor of an elevator-less apartment building (needless to say i'm building some sick calves). in china literally NO ONE lives in houses regardless of a person's income (there is a guy who drives a sick bmw 7 series who lives in the same apartment complex as i do). As a result, cities here are incredibly densely populated.
Our apartment complex, by Chinese standards, is top of the line. The complex is gated with 24 hour security guards, and the units are spacious with nice hardwood floors. The major downside, like all chinese apartments, is that there is no central heating. While the climate here is pretty temperate, when you have no heat it is really f------ (censored for my mom) cold. A few times at night it has gotten down to 20 degrees or so and i have woken up shivering. fortunately, a few nights ago, i came home from the bar freezing and began tearing through cupboards and whatnot in search of extra blankets. fortunately for me, the cocaine addict whom I replaced forgot, his really nice sleeping bag. so now, i wrap myself up in a cocoon of the sleeping bag and several layers of blankets.
-The School-
Thus far, one of the highlights has been my job teaching english at the school. while the days can sometimes be long, the kids are typically a lot of fun. the school consists of about 200 students, as operates mid-afternoons/early evenings on the weekdays and on the weekends. The teaching staff consists of four 'bilingual' chinese girls and myself and matt as the 'foreign expert teachers (yes, the word 'expert' is in our job title). every class is divided between instruction from a native chinese speaker and one foreign teacher. so, naturally, since there are only two foreign teachers matt and i have to teach by far the most classes.
On the whole, the children are sweet little Asian angels. however, amongst these angels, there are definitely some little bastards who try to sabotage the class. a few years ago, in an effort to curve population growth, china enacted a 'one-child for every couple law.' one unforeseen consequence of this act was that there is an entire generation of chinese kids who are only-children. so, since these kids are accustomed to being doted on by their parents and spoiled, a fair number of them suffer from "little-emperor syndrome." if left unchecked, some of these little emperors would spend each class running around the room screaming (which, they do for most of the chinese girls classes). so, every class is a constant struggle to keep the few bad seeds at-bay so that the rest of the class can still learn. one effective method i've been using is to make the class sit boy-girl. when i tell the class, naturally, they all refuse to move (i even had one girl start crying when i told her she had to go sit next to a boy). so, after much refusal and insistence on my part i usually resort to physically carrying the kid in his chair across the room (i rule over my classes like mao zedong ruled over china- with the iron fist of authority). then, if he tries to run back, to his old spot i playfully clothesline him and throw him back into his new seat next to the girl. the whole class laughs and everyone is happy.
another problem i've had to deal with in some of older classes are boys and girls flirting. in one class, this particular boy and girl just sit the whole class and flirt by poking each other and giggling. since the two refuse to be separated (honestly, i once divided the class into teams of boys and girls for a game, and the boy said he would just be on the girls team....what 12 year old boy says that?!) i've resorted to try to embarrass them to make them shut up. at the end of a class the other day, which had completely spiraled out of control on account of their raucous flirting, i got all the students in the class to sing "Andy and Carol sitting in a tree...k-i-s-s-i-n-g...." and so forth. another time, when i was going around the room making the kids spell words they had just learned i began making the kids spell things like "andy wants to kiss carol" or "carol loves andy." they were confused at first, but thought it was funny once they understood.
.........
i need to go to dinner now, but tomorrow i will write another installment of first impressions...if you have any questions/comments feel free to post them. Thanks!
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